Foto van de Hoorneboeg

Parenting Ourselves Retreat
with Susan Bögels and George Langenberg

In a beautiful place, at De Hoorneboeg

This 5-day mindfulness retreat is in line with the Buddhist/mindfulness tradition. Susan and George are both mindfulness teachers, trained in MBSR, MBCT, and Buddhism, George is also a yoga teacher and acupuncturist and Susan is a psychotherapist and professor of Mindfulness. With our teachings we want to connect the body, the heart and the psyche.

In this retreat we carefully examine the relationship with our inner child. The theme of the retreat is ‘parenting ourselves’. The way we ourselves were raised (by our parents, siblings, teachers, grandparents, etc.) affects not only the relationship with our own children and grandchildren, but also the relationships we have with partners, colleagues, friends, clients, students. And most importantly: the relationship with ourselves

Teachers

Susan and George have been working together since 2009

Susan Bögels

Susan is a psychotherapist, mindfulness teacher and professor. She provides mindfulness training for parents and children to professionals worldwide. She publishes on mindful parenting and mindfulness for children.
Visit Susan’s website

Profielfoto George Langenberg

George Langenberg

George is an acupuncturist and teaches yoga and meditation classes in Haarlem. He is supervisor and trainer of mindfulness and yoga teachers. In 2013 he wrote a children’s book on mindfulness and compassion.

Agenda

Our Inner Child

We explore how our inner parent responds to this child and how they provide for the needs of this inner child. In each of us there is an inner parent who, from the moment we are born (and before), connects with our inner child. Just as our parents and others have bonded with us, so we can take care of what our own inner child needs as best we can. We build and strengthen new ways to take care of ourselves.

As children, we “internalized” the way our parents reacted to us. For example, the reaction we got when we were hungry, happy, sad, angry or afraid. Or if we couldn’t sleep or slept. If we passed a test or failed it. By internalizing that reaction, we made their behavior “ours.” Their behavior has gone inward, become a part of us. But is this really who we are and who we want to be? For the rest of our lives we spend a certain amount of time trying to find that inner child, the “I” under layers and layers of learned behavior. The Zen Buddhist concept of the “beginners’ mind” helps to find our inner child.

In a retreat, by being in silence with ourselves, and meditating, we meet our inner child again. The chatter of the mind diminishes. We feel pure and raw emotions and use our senses again the way children do. In a retreat we can again intensely enjoy food or the nature around us. We become playful again. We cherish the subtle moments when we are in contact with all living beings around us. Therefore, during a retreat we can sometimes feel vulnerable, almost naked like babies.

Bodywork

Real change begins in the body. The body is our home in this life, the body is the place where we hold emotions and early childhood memories. Processes that we work through during these days continue to flow as we notice how our bodies resonates with them. Mindful Yoga is therefore an important part of the retreat.

If deeper layers are touched, then it is important that we can land in the body. Not by weighting, but by moving along and letting the body unlock itself. With lightness we can touch an experience. At these moments, the body is allowed to lead and we can land in softness.

The yoga we do is a welcome exercise of physical exertion and relaxation. The head takes a break, although our overcontrolling ‘mind’ makes attempts to determine the story. But the body knows what’s needed there and then. We don’t want to move around that, we deal with loving attention, sometimes with physical discomfort or emotional pain. For example, yoga can be a compassion exercise for the whole consciousness, physically, mentally and emotionally.

Five Day Retreat


Five days in Silence

This 5-day retreat consists of sitting and walking meditation, yoga, work meditation (45 min per day) and ‘reparenting’ exercises. Once a day there is half an hour of ‘Insight Dialogue’ in duos. During the week there is four times the opportunity to share experiences and ask questions with one of the trainers for 10 minutes.

Silence is not just a rule of retreat but a practice within the practice that helps us turn our attention inward and recognize the quality of our inner eyes and ears. This retreat is completely silent.

Example of the day program

07.15 – 08.00 Yoga, ending with silence practice
08.00 – 09.30 Breakfast and informal meditation*
09.30 – 10.15 Sitting meditation (with attention for the inner child)
10.15 – 11.00 Walking meditation (with attention for the inner child)
11.00 – 11.30 Break/tea meditation
11.30 – 12.15 Sitting meditation
12.15 – 13.00 Walking meditation

13.00 – 15.00 Lunch and informal meditation*
15.00 – 15.45 Sitting meditation
15.45 – 16.30 Walking meditation
16.30 – 17.00 Break/tea meditation
17.00 – 17.30 Insight Dialogue
17.30 – 18.00 Compassion meditation

18.00 – 19.30 Dinner and informal meditation*
19.30 – 20.30 Dhamma talc
20.30 – 21.00 Yoga

*Informal meditation involves mindful looking, listening, feeling, standing, sitting, lying down, moving, walking, showering, taking a nap, playing, etc. All in attention and silence.

De Hoorneboeg


A beautiful retreat in the middle of nature

During these five days there is a chef who cooks Ayurvedic for us every day. After the last meditation you can use the sauna in the evening. The entire location is spacious, large enough to be able to withdraw from the group, or to get a breath of fresh air for a walk on the heath or in the forest.